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Is it time to ban the tooth fairy?

Are your kid’s quids in, or counting the pennies?

The tooth fairy is an age-old tradition of slipping our kids a few coins in exchange for their teeth under a carefully created guise, but is your kid getting a fair rate?

Even though the tooth fairy – along with the Easter bunny – was identified to be a key worker by New Zealand’s Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, there are concerns the kids are being bullied by their peers for not getting “enough” per tooth.

UK-based stem cell storage company has found in a recent survey that children are receiving varying amounts of cash in exchange for their teeth.

Company spokesperson Mark Hall says, “Anyone would think it’s the stock market with the prices per tooth constantly chopping and changing.”

“But it’s the kids who are taking the brunt of it all and being bullied for a low exchange rate with the tooth fairy.”

The tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth

With the price for teeth varying so much, stem cell tooth bank asked dozens of parents how much their kids get from the tooth fairy to find out what the current exchange rate is.

Charlotte, Bristol: “It depends on how much money we, I mean *ahem* the tooth fairy has to hand. Sometimes she can only scrape together 50p, other times £1. As long as there are a few shiny coins under the pillow, our kid doesn’t care.”

Debbie, Grimsby: “They get whatever they’re given, one time I had no money in my purse, so I left a packet of chewing gum under the pillow. Made her really popular that day at school.”

Tina, Hartlepool: “I used to give a couple of quid per tooth, but I had to bring in a new rule after my kids realised if they pulled their teeth out that they could cash in with the tooth fairy. I’ve told them that the tooth fairy won’t buy it if it doesn’t fall out naturally, and they could be sued in fairy court. It’s saved me a fair bit.”

But although it’s discretionary as to how much the tooth fairy leaves, found that many parents are experiencing first-hand how this has left their children in floods of tears.

Raymond, Swansea: “My daughter came home crying the other day because the other kids were telling her that the tooth fairy doesn’t love her, all because she got 50p for her tooth. Turns out the going rate in her class is a fiver every time, can you believe that?!”

Patricia, Andover: “I’ve been called into the school because my son was getting bullied for being poor, all because he only got £1 from the tooth fairy. I feel like it’s all my fault.”
Tony, Sheffield: “I gave my kids 20p, but bloody Tarquin down the road got £20 so my kids have been checking the pillow every morning as ‘she must have forgotten, dad.’ It’s been 3 weeks, and they’ve been so upset.”

“It’s tough to decide how much money to leave under the pillow from the tooth fairy, but with children being bullied and left upset, maybe there needs to be a cap so everyone feels they’ve got the same,” says company spokesperson Mark Hall.

Can lost teeth bring smiles?

Although many parents feel pressured to keep up with tooth fairy expectations, some are calling for new rules for how much teeth are worth.

One parent suggests that maybe there needs to be a standardised amount for each tooth for every child in order to stop the bullies. “If each tooth for every kid is worth 50p, there’s no huge pressure for parents to pay up, and there’s no fighting in the playground over whose teeth are worth more.”

There’s a lot of pressure for parents to keep up with how much other kids are getting from the tooth fairy, and it seems like it’s increasing every year says spokesman Mark Hall.

“Children have twenty baby teeth. If you’re giving a fiver each time, you’re giving your kid £100 in exchange for their gnashers. Think of all the takeaways and beers you can buy yourself with that.”

But it’s not all doom and gloom, and lost teeth can put a smile on people’s faces.

Although many children are being bullied for not earning enough tooth money, ten-year-old Malachi in East London donated his £5 from the tooth fairy to the Salvation Army, which sparked further funding resulting in the opening of a new homeless centre with 42 flats, which they named Malachi Place in his honour.

“Maybe this is a good way to teach children the value of money, by encouraging them to donate their tooth fairy money to good causes,” says spokesperson Mark Hall.

“Let’s use the tooth fairy to teach our kids to be kind.”